She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
