mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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