I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
