ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
