hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
