And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
