I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
