If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
