is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
