A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
