If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
