Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
