I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
