I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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