I wanna bring you to show and tell
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
