id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
