I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
