Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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