Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
