Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
