i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How does it feel to date your dad?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
