it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
