Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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