i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
