you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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