Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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