I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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