She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
