he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
