Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
