we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
