i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize