Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
