somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
They should really pass out barf bags in church
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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