my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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