Who wears a wallet chain?!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
