there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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