the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
