i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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