I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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