Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
