were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
