You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
