: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
