just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
