Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
