after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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