you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
