yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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