with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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