she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
