You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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