My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
