Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
