I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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