Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she woke up with a sticky ear
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
