i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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