i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
