Can Purell be used as lube?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
