i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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