Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
