miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
