How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
