Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
