last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
this beer tastes like vomit already
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
