I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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