Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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