i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize